Sunday, September 19, 2021

Moon and Insect Panorama (love poem)

From the Spanish of Frederico Garcia Lorca


The moon shines on the sea,

the wind moans in the sail 

and waves softly rise 

of silver and blue.

                              — Espronceda


My heart would be the shape of a shoe

if every village had a mermaid.

But the night is endless when you lean on the sick

and there are ships that seek to be seen in order to sink calmly.


If the air blows softly

my heart takes the shape of a girl.

If the air refuses to leave the reed beds

my heart takes the shape of an ancient bull's turd.


Row, row, row, row,

towards the battalion of unbalanced points,

towards a landscape of surveillance dust.

The same night of snow, of discontinued systems.

And the moon.

The moon!

But not the moon.

The taverns’ fox,

the Japanese rooster who ate your eyes,

chewed herbs.


The lonely ones in the glass don't save us,

nor the herbalists where the metaphysician

encounters the other side of the sky.

The forms are lies. Only the flow

of mouths to oxygen exists.

And the moon.

But not the moon.

The insects,

the tiny dead on the shore,

pain at length,

iodine on the wound,

the throng on a pin,

the exposed one who collects everyone’s blood,

and my love is not a foal or a scar,

creature whose heart was devoured.

My love!


They already sing, scream, moan: A face. Your face! Face.

The apples are few,

the dahlias identical,

the light has a taste of finished metal

and the last five years will fit into the cheek of the coin.

But your face covers the banquet of skies.

They sing! They scream! They moan!

They conceal! They mount! They scare!


It is necessary to walk – quickly! – by the waves, by the branches,

down the desolate streets of the Middle Ages to the river,

by the fur tents where the horn of a wounded cow lows,

by the scales – don’t be afraid! – by the scales.

There’s a faded man who bathes in the sea;

He’s so unripe the searchlights ate his gambled away heart.

And a thousand women live in Peru – O insects! – night and day

their nocturnal parades weave together their veins.


A tiny corrosive glove stops me. Enough!

I feel a fleck in my handkerchief 

of the first vein that breaks.

Take care of your feet, my love, your hands!

Since I have to surrender my face,

my face, my face! Oh, my eaten face!


This chaste fire from my desire,

this confusion from longing for balance,

this innocent gunpowder pain in my eyes,

will ease the anguish of another heart

devoured by the nebulae.


The people in shoe stores don't save us,

nor the scenery that turns to music when it finds the rusty keys.

The airs are a lie. Only a crib

in the attic exists

that remembers all things.

And the moon.

But not the moon.

The insects,

the insects alone,

crackling, biting, quivering, clustered,

and the moon

with a glove of smoke that protests in the doorway of her rubble.

The moon!!


New York, January 4, 1930.


------------------------------------------------------------------

Luna y panorama de los insectos (Poema de amor)


La luna en el mar riela,

en la lona gime el viento

y alza en blando movimiento

olas de plata y azul.


- Espronceda                



Mi corazón tendría la forma de un zapato

si cada aldea tuviera una sirena.

Pero la noche es interminable cuando se apoya en los enfermos

y hay barcos que buscan ser mirados para poder hundirse tranquilos.


Si el aire sopla blandamente

mi corazón tiene la forma de una niña.

Si el aire se niega a salir de los cañaverales

mi corazón tiene la forma de una milenaria boñiga de toro.


Bogar, bogar, bogar, bogar,

hacia el batallón de puntas desiguales,

hacia un paisaje de acechos pulverizados.

Noche igual de la nieve, de los sistemas suspendidos.

Y la luna.

¡La luna!

Pero no la luna.

La raposa de las tabernas,

el gallo japonés que se comió los ojos,

las hierbas masticadas.


No nos salvan las solitarias en los vidrios,

ni los herbolarios donde el metafísico

encuentra las otras vertientes del cielo.

Son mentira las formas. Sólo existe

el círculo de bocas del oxígeno.

Y la luna.

Pero no la luna.

Los insectos,

los muertos diminutos por las riberas,

dolor en longitud,

yodo en un punto,

las muchedumbres en el alfiler,

el desnudo que amasa la sangre de todos,

y mi amor que no es un caballo ni una quemadura,

criatura de pecho devorado.

¡Mi amor!


Ya cantan, gritan, gimen: Rostro. ¡Tu rostro! Rostro.

Las manzanas son unas,

las dalias son idénticas,

la luz tiene un sabor de metal acabado

y el campo de todo un lustro cabrá en la mejilla de la moneda.

Pero tu rostro cubre los cielos del banquete.

¡Ya cantan!, ¡gritan!, ¡gimen!,

¡cubren!, ¡trepan!, ¡espantan!


Es necesario caminar, ¡de prisa!, por las ondas, por las ramas,

por las calles deshabitadas de la Edad Media que bajan al río,

por las tiendas de las pieles donde suena un cuerno de vaca herida,

por las escalas, ¡sin miedo!, por las escalas.

Hay un hombre descolorido que se está bañando en el mar;

es tan tierno que los reflectores le comieron jugando el corazón.

Y en el Perú viven mil mujeres, ¡oh insectos!, que noche y día

hacen nocturnos y desfiles entrecruzando sus propias venas.


Un diminuto guante corrosivo me detiene. ¡Basta!

En mi pañuelo he sentido el tris

de la primera vena que se rompe.

Cuida tus pies, amor mío, ¡tus manos!,

ya que yo tengo que entregar mi rostro,

mi rostro, ¡mi rostro!, ¡ay, mi comido rostro!


Este fuego casto para mi deseo,

esta confusión por anhelo de equilibrio,

este inocente dolor de pólvora en mis ojos,

aliviará la angustia de otro corazón

devorado por las nebulosas.


No nos salva la gente de las zapaterías,

ni los paisajes que se hacen música al encontrar las llaves oxidadas.

Son mentira los aires. Sólo existe

una cunita en el desván

que recuerda todas las cosas.

Y la luna.

Pero no la luna.

Los insectos,

los insectos solos,

crepitantes, mordientes, estremecidos, agrupados,

y la luna

con un guante de humo sentada en la puerta de sus derribos.

¡¡La luna!!


New York, 4 de enero de 1930.

Saturday, September 18, 2021

"I am there for you"


I am there for you 
As the memories come
And the call to know
Becomes too urgent
To ignore.

I am there for you
As your heart descends 
To the underworld 
Where the childhood went
You couldn't see.

I am there for you 
As it's harder now
With so many chances to know
When you fell through the hole
To learn.

I am there for you 
When you push the truth away again
And the weight bears down
Beyond your capacity 
To resist.

I am there for you
As wails and purging begin;
You were a slave 
But you feel you enslaved
Those you loved.

I am there for you
As you start to realize
How you had to divide
Or be divided
To survive.

I am there for you 
As the rage must fall
So gentle and unappeaseable
To the surface
Of the floor.

I am there for you 
As you draw new breath
As though it's the first
And you've finally forgotten 
Death.

I am there for you 
How the beginning
Is an end
And it never will end
Except together.

For the brave people of Australia 

Friday, September 17, 2021

While

We came here
           for the pain
     and, eventually,
It perfects
     before the flower
           of eccentricity.

You learn 
     how to add
           all the notes
Then you learn
     how to take
           them away.

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

New Earth


The extermination is almost innocuous,
First the poisoned breath
Then you die
Without even knowing.

The control group shall inherit the earth,
And she will flourish.

Tuesday, September 14, 2021

My Silence

My silence curses me,
The shame truth hides behind,
Deeply offensive to the universal mind

When dealt as the superior hand
The other player cannot 
Possibly understand 

As if it's, somehow, cheating
To try to educate, inform,
Provide perspective, will the rational.

There's too much need for the insane
To be more than an unwelcome guest
Who overstays no invitation.

I just lack patience, the wise ones say,
To wait outside the rising sounds
Until they die away.

It's my sin of pride
That I won't compose my face into a mask
But my everlasting virtue that I can't.

Sunday, September 12, 2021

Self-Improvement

I took tea and watched my life go by
As on a screen — such a little thing
To remember: warm embers
Each successive error delivered ...

They are nothing to the coldness of the sky, 
From where all manifestation arrives.
The stars are eyes.

Saturday, September 11, 2021

Three Perspectives on the War


Reposted from 2007, because I, at least, remember.

I. 
It started, as it usually does, in the board room, with power points of growth projections and visions of expansion to new brands, new locations. There was no pre-merger discussion, but all present were softened by nostalgia for earlier operations like the memory of a perfect golf game. This gauze gave everything about the plan a certain half-thought-out quality: the capital expenditure was more than their budget, it offered the competitors an opening, even the marketing was an afterthought, but I'll say one thing for the powerful, they know they can get it done with only a look of displeasure, and they knew, deep down knew this was their time, and legacy. Who, after all, could see inside them, could doubt their shareholder concern? 

It only took a few people, and most of these would be whisked out of the country. First they purchased the buildings, equipped it with insurance, and agreed to remove the deadly asbestos. Their security unit, with its flawless reputation, got the contract at all three airports. The state-of-the-art remote control guidance system from their technology division was inserted for a double-blind test in the actual planes. Their partners at DOD, as usual, were small-minded and held their ground, but their contacts inside had infested the place like ants with money and secrets and shameless flattery, they knew when and how the war games were planned, and what software was used. As for marketing, their strategy was simple and effective—massive media buys that tied that nagging consumer problem to be solved with the end corporate goal (which, as always, was destroying the competition)—just like Walmart used the problem of high prices to drive all U.S. manufacturing away. Here, they used a bunch of stolen IDs of some Saudi trouble-makers, and relied on their strong distribution network to do the rest. They hired a few actors to make noise, use phony credit cards, and leave in an easily found place a few bad Arabic flight manuals. At the advice of compliance, to limit their own liability, they gave them boxcutters and plastic knives instead of actual weapons. The international department that handled this was kind of sloppy, as they often are—some of these people were already dead, some popped up later alive (even Atta, the appointed "leader"), these so-called religious fanatics were "seen" drinking at a strip club the night before, the one designated to pilot impossible maneuvers had flunked flight school—but they got by because foreign names and cultures are always unfamiliar to customers. 

Operationally, it was a thing of beauty: the towers were powered down for the first time ever for "routine maintenance" and expertly wired by people who believed they were, in the end, saving lives; the right phone calls were made beforehand; no one asked why the security cameras didn't work; enforcers paid visits to air traffic controllers; NORAD fell for the war games diversion and then evaded blame expertly like the bureaucrats they were; the steel was carted away without a question asked, every piece of evidence was put under the protective seal of high-level company men. 

But as with all plans with large logistics, there were a few glitches: the shorted futures couldn't be cashed because the markets closed too quickly; they had to pull the building that was hit second because the fireman gave the all-clear signal; a lot of people felt explosions, saw missiles, heard other jets; there was more than one expert to bribe; the "owner" admitted on national TV he pulled the third building; a kid on a "cell phone" from 30,000 feet called his mother and introduced himself by name; the follow-up anthrax attack was completely botched, when the scapegoat said too much; enough anomalies to keep the auditors busy for decades. 

Despite the product flaws, it was a triumph, in the end, of public relations. The public simply willed it to work. There was the willing suspension of disbelief, like a good action movie, with victims and dark-skinned, inexplicable psychotics, unlikely heroes and shocking twists, and, also like a good action movie, it was followed up by the video game. People were entertained, and an entertained customer is one who spends money: even newspapers sold, weak leaders were turned into kings, the whole world saw them as winners to emulate, investment exploded, new entrepreneurial industries flourished—people were united with a purpose, to "kick the ass" of the corporation’s competitors. The best of all investment worlds: the product sold itself. 

Granted, there was more than one competitor, imposing a little more scrutiny into alliance-building than would be optimal. It was not something simple for the common man to follow, but give him credit, he could handle sophisticated plot-lines, he knew about conflict and rising action, he could envision many happy endings; so they came up with a brilliant plan—pick em off one at a time, from weakest to strongest: Afghanistan pipeline, Iraq oil fields, Lebanon squatters, Iranian treasure, and so on. Like an epic with sequels, base the conflict on something that would never end, like, say, terror, something you couldn’t even fight, with no armies, no enemies, just any old excuse to keep the meter running on all the expensive equipment. 

The plan didn't need much else, but there were a few rules of thumb: when you destroy, always re-build, but make sure the construction side always falls way short; don't forget antiquities—easily an afterthought, they could be sold to private dealers, mostly friends, after all, it's the entire record of the birth of writing, laws, religion, marriage, politics and other quaint but profitable concepts; and, most of all, don't share the spoils with anyone—just because someone gives something up to go along, doesn't mean he's a partner in the venture. 

By bottom-line standards, this launch was a success, but, on a long-term investment, you still have to show quarterly results. This made things more delicate: the accountants keeping the books needed some poetic license; the advertising expenditures needed to be competitive to keep the product fresh and in demand; then there’s the labor issue, always tricky, with a lot of workers lost through attrition and severance cuts; competitors on their home turf had small company flexibility and reduced infrastructure expenditures, all of which raised costs; suppliers will always overcharge if given half a chance, and this far-flung enterprise did not provide much transparency at the local level. These hidden costs all filtered down to the customer, who signed a long-term contract but thought they could get their money back. It's a perception management issue that was addressed by pointing out this new and improved perpetual war cannot be won but it can be lost—unless one gives, and gives generously. 

Even today, some on the street lack confidence in the management, but there's a transition plan in place. They've left the franchise stronger than it was, maybe they can work on that golf swing after all! At the end of the day, who has a better product for the market? Something people crave more than the sweetest, darkest chocolate.


II. 
She lifts up ecstatic, her reason for living exhausted, 
Her children extinguished, her neighbors turned to ash... 
So many together, holding hands like they couldn’t in life, 
Ascended from the hell of twenty-five years, if only they knew it was
 as easy as this, 
That the reward would be so sweet. 

In Iraq, new lost generations of maimed and heartsick curse God
 they didn’t die: 
When the date trees were bulldozed from their land; 
When they were spread naked, guns to their heads on the floor before
 their families; 
When the soldiers who raped them gave them children with organs
 on the outside; 
When they were forced into bestial and homosexual orgies to be
 filmed; 
When they saw what they saw, remembered what they once had,
 allowed themselves the right to feel… 
No power, no water, no safety, no food, but revenge can keep one
 alive indefinitely. 

There's no Allah, there is no Rapture, but the mind goes on
 in paradise, 
To remind us our cause was even larger than we knew 
Defeating the greatest power in the world simply by saying no… 

In the U.S., the blood spews out of the TV as they eat dead flesh for
 breakfast. 
She can't stop buying things. 
He wants to kill something. 
It's better to live in a dream than this, and there are 2,000 dreams
 available every night, 
Against which telling the truth from a lie is so very small… 

Dying’s just part of the job, 
The cigarettes of this man's army. 
The griefs are silent, unresolved, 
No one made responsible. 

We drop bombs on the garden of Eden, 
Spray "USA" in DuPont graffiti on a ziggurat 
Chase an alien God through the red clay of Babel, Karma, and Hit. 
In Najaf, city of cemeteries, rag-wrapped soldiers defend the graves 
Against the U.S. eating machine that builds freedom like a shark
 one meal at a time.

There's a deep need in the Earth to disappear. 
This war is not much. More die from the U.S. health care system. 
Millions simply vanished in the tsunami—they had to leave. 

The cowards who set roadside bombs against the cowards who wear
 full flak regalia. 
Both terrified as chickens on an assembly line. 

Heroes made out of those who do what any person would: 
Save a buddy’s life, plow a road, harvest missiles from heaven 

While the true heroes, those who grow cold enough to watch a person
 die without regret 
Sink invisible among those who would never get it. 

Though I may appear to be dead for today, this year or this century, 
I am watching you always, and will come back to plant another
 crop of rice 
Knowing all that I know now, and all that I will see in the future 
From these eyes locked as the last light leaves them. 
I will water your bones with my tears, 
For the vanquished get redeemed through their forgiveness,
 the victors get much less. 
Your tears will run in our rivers with all you left behind: 
Your innocence, your virtue, your peace-of-mind, 
Which nourish our future in ways you'll never know 
As you sit on a porch swing thinking about me. 

War is social, death is individual. 
I must live to chronicle the inhumanity, 
To compile the list of the lost buried with the flagged bodies, 
To project the wreckage further to the future, 
To explain why something that should be known to anyone 
With a human brain and heart 
Is not. 

Maybe this time when I jump off the wheel, I will smile… 


III. 
It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech." —Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, Sergeant, US Marine Corps 

Nothing more beautiful than a beach full of Marines 
Their skin as red as their colors 
Hair like crisp lawns as far as the eye can see, 
As they lay with families on holiday forgetting 
The thousand negotiations between honor and slaughter 
Or between the Marines and everything else. 

Their wives are lathered with ubiquitous banana oil, 
Reading the news of the day in magazines like Self and Us, 
Celebrity recipes for great sex and drunk driving arrests, 
One eye on kids in a forward position at the water’s edge. 
The shovels that dig the sand to build their castles 
Are also used to annihilate them before the ocean can. 

Beyond the beach, there’s the wildlife preserve, the recycling center, 
The pottery kiln, the commissary with its discount on organic food 
Then the Quonset huts and white concrete structures 
Like something out of the Soviet Union circa 1958. 
The maintenance vehicles are as slow and noisy as lawnmowers 
But at the gate they still salute you with white gloves. 

To some, it's all that matters, to hear the country’s call, 
Like the small voice of God saying “leave the ugliness to me”; 
As if they were born for this work 
Of ignoring consequences. 
To others it's for money, education, discipline, career direction, 
For a chance to be a hero instead of in the way, 

But most of these boys were already broken when they got here, 
They’d been prisoners at gunpoint their whole lives 
Strong-armed from trailers to bars by vengeful, ravenous mouths 
That struck if they opened theirs. What a relief to get all that here 
Without the demand for love. A soldier only has to love his rifle. 
He is allowed to exist if he does what he is told. 

Objective, Obstacle, Strategy, Victory 
And other ludicrous fantasies 
Come down to this: who fears annihilation enough 
To transform murder into a duty? 

And so they say "the bad people with the false God deserve to die" 
When they mean "I am afraid my God will abandon me" 
And they say "they hate us for our freedoms" 
When they mean "I don’t deserve the freedom I’ve squandered." 
For them, any symbol will do, for righteousness is a crutch, 
The cold, inescapable wound is in the mirror. 

While we – unthinking – are marched with slogans and drums, to war 
Tugging at the tribal obligation, are you with us or against us 
With the basso profundo, the causis bellila musique terrible
 of envy and fear, 
The 30-year Marine laughs: "The source of this war is always 
The human heart, what's missing, the cause of all human suffering." 

The flag snaps like a snake at sunset, 
The sky is still streaming with colors: 
Orange warning flower, red stripes of battle, 
A gash of pink, the purple smoke of gunpowder, 
The indigo arm of comfort, then a heavy carpet 
Gold-tinged black laid over the narrow band of sun 
Lighting the camp as if from below 
And bringing out the red in the pines,
And then, suddenly, the frail light was gone, 
Gone out for taps, and darkness in the barracks.

Friday, September 10, 2021

Figures in the Night

I can see the fire lines in the distance,
All the frames as they buckle plank by plank
And the windows shatter, the floors give way
And bats fly the gaps more or less freely.

I see the people flow into the street,
Some holding tools and some holding weapons,
As if to say that they will not relent, 
That they will not be taken peacefully.

But it's hard to say, from this higher ground
What they believe and what they will do now,
In the rage of the mind that hovers above,
Ever-patient, waiting for them, waiting.

Thursday, September 9, 2021

Musings at the 9:9

The tall trees of Atlantis
Still rustle in the sky.

The ancient prophecies still advise
As if coined for this occasion.

There is so much that we hold on to
That is no longer there,

For what's ahead is another beginning,
When we haven't yet buried the dead

And the chords ring out a glorious past
To fill and distill the moment 

That so much depends upon
But from which nothing arrives

But an intention
For peace or love or complete transcendence,

What already happened some time ago,
When we weren't really paying attention.

Finality lasts so long
As if what came before it needs to stay.

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

After the New Moon

The furnishings come to life
When we are no longer dead.

They don't say they are not us
Any more, but what they are.

We hear them now at least, all
The sounds we now know are there.

The words that blew through the air
Have vanished like sudden winds.

It was only a judgement 
Of things that didn't exist,

What our minds wanted to fear,
A world that's merely human.

Tuesday, September 7, 2021

Signs of Autumn

1.
A harvest of prickly pears
Gathered like grapes,
Inflamed, fire orange,
Spewing red juice
For doves to forage

But the cactus dying
Has more to say
About the curl of love enduring
And what's left of skin exposed,
The sun-filled crown of one last flower
Like a candle along the plateau.

2.
Blue eucalyptus leaves
Are weighed down by silver,
Dead red leaves below,
Astringent needles,
The sway of distant boughs.

These trees hold the white light
In a living quiet,
Pocked and hammocked by webs
They offer labyrinthine stories
Of joys and sorrows, love and war,
How the purity of birth festered into beauty.

3.
Swamp grass with its final psalm
Of wide-quilled branch
And giant stem
Bows all its blades
In harmonious rows.

The sun hits the cheap grass,
Stalks buckle under 
Ores of seed.
Spider grass pounces
When the wind overwhelms it;
Uphold it must elegance.

Monday, September 6, 2021

Before the Bonfire

What I know,
What I bothered to learn
I had to make up.

The facts, it turns out,
Are never enough 
Unless they add up —

And there are 
Far too many
Differential equations

To turn ennui
And powerlessness 
Into bliss,

The bliss of 
An orderly mind
In an orderly world,

Where pain is
Speculated about daily
For not being known,

Although it looks like
That is all
That was left

In the last pot of gold
Shining as
The ultimate value,

For that, it turns out,
Is all we know,
The gaps

And our greed
To have them
Full.

Sunday, September 5, 2021

Flash, or Requiem for a Beardie











She came to give love for awhile.

The child's attention turns.
Menageries become human.
She lived her life in the sun
And taught us what might lie beyond.

Now she scampers in the red Gibson Desert
Free of any tie
As we guard her memory.

Saturday, September 4, 2021

Saturday at Home with Frank O'Hara

The prince's cough could tell the time.
The princess predicts a short and tragic life
For herself at last
As if there's some reward attached ...
So goes it on the most depressing holiday of the year! 
Domesticity is bliss, but, then, so is ignorance,
And no one seems to want a part of that.
Everything gets lost inside the sofa: 
Socks, game pieces, the boa —
Yet it too will be wheeled into the street
For the Mexican families who circuit weekly.
The new mid-century styles do seem delicious though —
But then everything must be new
Except for us of course (that would be hideous)
Yet isn't that the master strategy
Behind the rubber tree, where well-disguised
Like any true poet
The day shadow crosses the golden walls?
The green iguana eats his blueberries in late sun,
And there's nothing left for us to do
But watch the dragons fuck
As the cat squeezes his lids and offers his paw
That we can sit still for more than a moment.
Soon things will be good again:
The elderly will be gutted by machine guns,
The smell of marijuana will infest every crack in the villa,
Peace will finally be made with the sofa,
And the negotiations over the giveaway bag,
While contentious, will be successful,
In that no one's truly satisfied.
I've felt love, meanwhile, in every gesture:
Dessicating carrots, boiling rags, turning worms,
Though still it hides behind the baroque pearls
Of the Japanese screen, in its modesty, always waiting 
For a later reveal, in the future where there's hope.

Friday, September 3, 2021

The Flight to Krabi

Each day my head fills up
      with what I haven't said,
What they cannot hear
      or will not see as love.
I live, like this, in many ways alone,
      easing out my rope,
Unconscious of any
      connection ...

Until I dream, and others join
      as every decision I make
Is made for everyone,
      And the pieces of separation 
Fit to the puzzle
      so clean and strong
It seems like every decision
      is made for me ...

Yet I see, as the blinds start shining
      that I am free.

Thursday, September 2, 2021

Gist of the Code-Talkers

The rabbi's gematria 
     reduces everything to God,
So we can touch and see
     like a holy book of life

That there is nothing 
     not protecting us
And nothing that has ever
     turned its back.

The whole of existence 
     can be willed away
Or found atop the head
     of a pin,

That is the choice, the too-wide
     choice between
What we're powerless to stop
     and what is perfect as it is.

Wednesday, September 1, 2021

Sawyer

The cat goes to Tijuana to die.
It's better that way — death is golden there,
Like twilight when the sun begins to care
For what it leaves behind.

                                                 Before this Sphinx
The fur and the bones of the living cats,
Their unforgettable moans,
Go silent.

And yet we need them, to know about life,
Its trivial pains, reversible gains,
The brutality of the constant con.
How else can the dead be honored?                

Tuesday, August 31, 2021

People of the Screen, Part 2

Cotton Mather bellows now in Dolby Sound
From every living room, disturbing
The most intimate of family gatherings
To show how we are sinners all, low,
Unworthy of the God that Is no longer.

His people do some things the real ones wouldn't dream:
They take pills and kill, need no reason to steal,
Betray like they can’t read the how-to-be human manual.
The embarrassment of actors is near enough to what we know
We look the other way as they turn inevitably into monsters,

Even the heroes and heroines, no, especially those,
For they must kill them all,
Disregard every kindness,
Stand as some Shiva of Karma
Because thy slaughterous will must be done

In cape and uniform,
That's the only way it's possible
For the plot-math resolution;
The get-up of the garbage man
With superhuman muscle tone.

We go out, once a week, for more damnation.
Whiff of the monstrance at the concert hall,
Beds of Egyptian red, goblets on altars,
The audience brought like a sea to one motion
Before they're released, for that's what power does.

Monday, August 30, 2021

Where the Free are Forbidden

It's no help that some humanity remains
In the faces walking dogs, wetting lawns, 

When most have given up, confused at what it was,
Pulled downward by the invisible call

Of the fallen angels inside the screens,
Charmed by the ghosts of the oppressed's reveries

As if they ever were allowed to play,
As if they're playing even now, and not

Some wishful fantasy, of people larger,
More unknown than the ones that they see,

Who make a difference, without touching.
O Gods replaced by electricity,

How the wind blows through the trees like before
And the sun still descends in a blue sky

That reveals, in all its clarity, no key.
The screams are from the houses, not the trees,

The once-proud priests are drugged and fat, released
Like petals to a breeze from green columns.

Sunday, August 29, 2021

Crazy at Sunset

Pink at the end of something,
What it is is far less clear than the pink,
As diaphanous as it appears.

Yet there was that talk
On the porch this morning
About the room you shared with your sister
And all of the rooms she strayed to
And tried not to leave.

And now her disembodied voice
Comes through an old Memorex recorder 
You pulled from your drawer
To dictate some notes.

And now I hear you sing
A song by Patsy Cline
From before I was born.

Song: Agapanthus

The fan bends,
The boy kneels,
The bows contend,
The sky yields

We are gone
     Like dandelion down
To the whither-world found

Whiteness comes
     From all around
To the painting on the ground

Nothing is making the world turn round,
Nothing is drawing a sound 

So we come and go
With the flow,
Blow away

The road ends,
The car reels,
We all pretend
We've made deals

To the one
     We've never really known
From the polo ground home

Changes come
Through yellow phones
On tapestries of foam

Nothing is making the world turn round,
Nothing is drawing a sound 

So we come and go
With the flow,
Blow away

We are together all the way,
Wanting the other to say,
Everything that isn't there,
All we wouldn't dare

The palms mend,
The trees feel,
Doves befriend 
The unreal,

Call the sun
     In the hummingbird song,
Agapanthus sings along

Gardens come
     From distant lands,
Lift flowers to our hands

Nothing is making the world turn round,
Nothing is drawing a sound 

So we come and go
With the flow,
Blow away

189 Days

According to Carlo D'Este, Beatrice put a Hawaiian curse on her half-sister's daughter, who had met the general when they were stationed in Hawaii. Jean died a few days later, pictures of him strewn all around.

Pearl Harbor highway
From DTC
To ground zero now,
Maricopa County.

The Theatre seems empty
But everyone sees
The movie.

The Hohokam scream 
Through me:
"The President was born
On my birthday!"

Saturday, August 28, 2021

After the Story

After the story
The palm blades sway,
Mariachi and baseball play-by-play 
As the lights
On neighboring homes
Hidden away
Begin to brighten.

Saturday, August 7, 2021

Song of the Returning Night

And here I am at the end of that
Inexplicable light, uncontainable joy,
The abeyance of understanding

That led me to leap
Into another life
From one now unrecognizable.

There was no journey mapped,
No person seen,
No future imagined,

But now the first tears fall through
The impenetrable membrane 
Of past and future.

It was a school, a hard and
Beautiful school, with each new level
Magical and unpredictable and cruel.

How could I know that it, too,
Had a course away from itself
And back to forks I'd lingered over,

Chasms in the fabric
Where what I needed
Seemed on some other side

Than where it was, with me, 
Always inside? It was somewhere
In the imperturbable future

Where arrival is disguised
As something old and unresolved
But almost conceivable,

Until the new world grows around you
So familiar 
You forgot where you even were,

A beginning and end don't matter.
The flame of the change 
Was made slow, manageable,

Though it's recalled
As a bolt of light
Smiling on the choice I made

For nothing more specific than love --
The details I had asked for
Not even clear on the far reach --

Never to know the path I chose,
Only the way 
It made me feel.

Friday, August 6, 2021

The Sad Doctor

There's comfort in the truth,
No matter how fatal.
Let the recriminations begin,
Now that there's nothing you can do with them.

Thursday, August 5, 2021

Waltz of the Sensitives

The hyacinth
Reminds us
To be happy
Through these brutal summer days,
And it makes my poor wife
Smile,
Forgetting
What's missing.

When I saw
Ramiro 
Shear it down
It was my mouth
Gasping for breath
Not my heart
That made his eyes
Twinge so.

So terrible
The being here
In this place
Where suffering 
Is the gift
And what we want
So rarely
Affordable.

And to feel
The unhappiness
Of both
As my own fault
-- All the tells
That could have been tended to,
The details
That could roll out differently.

The shivering caul 
Of California 
Rides astride
The golden sun,
Withholding 
Satisfaction
Like every self-respecting heaven
Has always done.

Wednesday, August 4, 2021

First of Four

Regrets still throb
     Like hot summer veins,
And everything dropped
     That turned mistake
Keeps dropping from
     My white-gloved hand
In slower and sadder motions,
     Like sand 
Sifted to view 
     Each granule.

But there was a reason
     These mistakes 
Were made. There was grace
     In the way
Love's promises each day
     Were fulfilled,
In effortless flow 
     With all that is
And endlessly turns 
      To love.

Perhaps the crinkle of
     A smile, who knows?
Wide eyes, a thickness
     Of hair ...
So little remains it's like it
     Never occurred,
That I wandered a field
     Of youth's infinite possibilities
Alone, without the one
     I had disappeared within.

Tuesday, August 3, 2021

Blues of a Summer Soldier

The sirens are pretty much constant.
The sentries have taken their stations.
The checkpoints have cocked AK-47's.
Planes fly so low now, they make the roof shake.

The only justice is being a refugee,
Not having to cheat to succeed,
That was the thought when I went deep into Yermo,
In golden acacia, past the P.O.

And the general store and Burger Den,
Nothing for 50 miles in any direction
But this town built on ghosts, 
Held up by crutches and springs.

The room that could be home offers birch beer,
Vintage gear ("cash only") back to 1907,
A fan for the 100 degree temperatures,
And the old ladies talk as if I was a friend,

About the weather, and whether 
They'd need that booster shot now,
As if I had an opinion.
There is no hole left to climb in.

Monday, August 2, 2021

Sin City Morning

Sunrise and the hum of air conditioners
The last bit of glitter sparkles the sky
The last of your dreams wakes up to the void 
Still, home is that road you don't want to take

Saturday, July 31, 2021

The Silver-Haired Man in Baker

The wind takes away what we say:
The stone path is dry, the field empty,
Distant rain clings in the sky.

The clouds take away what we see:
The sun underneath lights the joshua trees,
The creosote flails in the breeze.

The silence takes all that we hear:
Old ladies chuckle away the years,
Laborers share laughs, hiding tears.

The sun takes away what we touch:
Earth's forms dissolve in light and dust,
A burned-out building hangs like a crutch.

Ah but as the rain brings in the scent
The bitter sweetness recalls the misspent,
What was almost forgot: what we meant.

Friday, July 30, 2021

“Oh, tell me, night friend, old lover …”

From the Spanish of Antonio Machado

Oh, tell me, night friend, old lover,
Who brings my dreams to the altar,
Always deserted and dismal 
And alone with my ghost inside,
My poor sad shadow
On the steppe and under a sun blistering,
Or dreaming up sorrows?
In the voice of all mysteries,
Tell me, if you know, old lover, tell me
If the tears that I shed are mine.
The night replied:
"You never revealed your secret to me.
I never knew, my dear, if you were
The ghost of your dream,
I never discovered if that voice was yours
Or the voice of some hideous actor.”

I said to the night: Beloved liar,
You know my secret;
You have seen the deep grotto
Where my dream turns to crystal,
And my tears you know are mine,
And my pain, the old pain you know.

"Oh, I do not know,” said the night, “Beloved,
Your secret I do not know,
Though I have seen that desolate ghost you recall
Wandering across your dream.
I look at souls when they cry
And I hear their vast prayers,
Humble and lonely,
The ones that you call the true psalms;
But in the deep vaults of the soul
I don't know if the cry’s a voice or an echo.

I wanted to hear, from your lips, your complaint, 
So I looked for you inside your dream,
And there I saw you wander, in a blur,
A labyrinth of mirror."

======================================
“¡Oh, dime, noche amiga, amada vieja,…

¡Oh, dime, noche amiga, amada vieja,
que me traes el retablo de mis sueños
siempre desierto y desolado, y solo
con mi fantasma dentro,
mi pobre sombra triste
sobre la estepa y bajo el sol de fuego,
o soñando amarguras
en las voces de todos los misterios,
dime, si sabes, vieja amada, dime
si son mías las lágrimas que vierto.

Me respondió la noche:
—Jamás me revelaste tu secreto.
Yo nunca supe, amado,
sí eras tú ese fantasma de tu sueño,
ni averigüé si era su voz la tuya
o era la voz de un histrión grotesco.
Dije a la noche: —Amada mentirosa,
tú sabes mi secreto;
tú has visto la honda gruta
donde fabrica su cristal mi sueño,
y sabes que mis lágrimas son. mías,
y sabes mi dolor, mi dolor viejo.

—¡Oh! Yo no sé—dijo la noche—, amado,
yo no sé tu secreto,
aunque he visto vagar ese que dices
desolado fantasma por tu sueño.
Yo me asomo a las almas cuando lloran
y escucho su hondo rezo,
humilde y solitario,
ese que llamas el salmo verdadero;
pero en las hondas bóvedas del alma
no sé si el llanto es una voz o un eco.

Para escuchar tu queja de tus labios
yo te busqué en tu sueño,
y allí te vi vagando en un borroso
laberinto de espejos.

Thursday, July 29, 2021

"I listen to the songs ..."

From the Spanish of Antonio Machado

I listen to the songs
With the old cadences,
That the children sing
When they play at choir,
And pour their choruses
Through souls that dream,
How water pours
From the fountain stone:
The monotone
Of eternal laughter,
Without happiness
And with old tears
Still not bitter
When speaking of pain,
Love’s sorrow
From legends long ago.

On children’s lips
The songs continue,
The legend confusing
And the pain is clear;
As clear as water 
Carries the story
Of obsolete loves
That never mattered.

Playing, in the shadows
Of a village green,
The children sang ...

The fountain of stone
Poured its eternal
Legend of crystal.

The children sang
Artless songs,
Of something going
And never arriving:
Confusing the legend
And making the pain clear.

I heard the old story
Serene from the fountain;
Erasing the legend,
Remembering the pain.

--------------------------------------
"Yo escucho los cantos ..."

Yo escucho los cantos
de viejas cadencias,
que los niños cantan
cuando en coro juegan,
y vierten en coro
sus almas que sueñan,
cual vierten sus aguas
las fuentes de piedra:
con monotonías
de risas eternas,
que no son alegres,
con lágrimas viejas,
que no son amargas
y dicen tristezas,
tristezas de amores
de antiguas leyendas.

En los labios niños,
las canciones llevan
confusa la historia
y clara la pena;
como clara el agua
lleva su conseja
de viejos amores,
que nunca se cuentan.

Jugando, a la sombra
de una plaza vieja,
los niños cantaban...

La fuente de piedra
vertía su eterno
cristal de leyenda.

Cantaban los niños
canciones ingenuas,
de un algo que pasa
y que nunca llega:
la historia confusa
y clara la pena.

Seguía su cuento
la fuente serena;
borrada la historia,
contaba la pena.

Wednesday, July 28, 2021

The Normalized Madness

The world comes in like a leaking boat 
And it never seems to end,
As long as the Tarantino flays 
From a distance inhuman and primordial.

Tuesday, July 27, 2021

Words for Vince and his Chain

Don't be cruel to the uncurious and brutal,
They are but cattle to their fattening idyl;
How impolite to warn them of their slaughter.
Surely there must be some common ground ...

The taste of clover, for example.
And so I fall before them, in mock prostration,
Declaring my envy and how I am not worthy
Of the honey wafting out of those crowns.

How much, one muses, would you pay to get some?
And no matter what I say, how I respond,
They will think it a lie, that I'm unable to disguise 
The urge for something too embarrassing to lust for.

It is like that here. They mistrust their very senses,
Their nose for clover, to throw me in their sack.
My ideas, like a bid in poker, must grow stranger
At each opposite my ante of self attracts.

Monday, July 26, 2021

The Solitude Room

There is comfort in the cat asleep,
In the mushrooms from the rain,
In the Himalayan stones,
Illustrations on the walls,
Things that tell us to be still,

For outside of these presences
The waves divide and crash
In endless seas of static,
Possibilities materialize
And change inconceivably 

In a sweet dream 
That terrifies,
How the only diamonds
Are those right at the surface
Rolling with the flow,

And the only thing permanent 
In love 
Is an unsoiled, ungraspable ideal
That shines like distant rays
In patches through the blue and grey

As if this warmth and light
Are what you're meant to be,
Soon buffeted by bitterness
In the winds outside these walls,
Then intoxicate peace begins.

There is comfort in a house at rest,
The pillows where they were,
The surprises are just opened doors,
The sounds of running motors,
And sleep becomes a stone at last,

A thing to hold on to
While galaxies come and go like thunderbolts
Playing tag across the empty fields.
To catch them is to have learned something,
But it seems you never will.

Sunday, July 25, 2021

The Eternal Thalamus

From the Spanish of Cesar Vallejo

Love is only strong by leaving us behind!
And the tomb will instruct a great pupil,
Into whose depths he survives and he cries
The anguish of love, as if a chalice
Of sweet eternity and black sunrise.

And the lips distend and curl for the kiss,
Like something full that inundates and dies;
And, in crisp conjunctive oneness of breath,
Each mouth will surrender for the other
A life, a life of agonizing death.

And sweet is the grave, when I think that way,
For there everyone will blend in finally
In the unresolved clamor from above;
The shadow's sweet, where we all come together
In a universal liaison of love.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

El tálamo eterno
               
Solo al dejar de ser, Amor es fuerte!
Y la tumba será una gran pupila,
en cuyo fondo supervive y llora
la angustia del amor, como en un cáliz
de dulce eternidad y negra aurora.

Y los labios se encrespan para el beso,
como algo lleno que desborda y muere;
y, en conjunción crispante,
cada boca renuncia para la otra
una vida de vida agonizante.

Y cuando pienso así, dulce es la tumba
donde todos al fin se compenetran
en un mismo fragor;
dulce es la sombra, donde todos se unen
en una cita universal de amor.

Saturday, July 24, 2021

Mirrors

To accept the passion not because it's fated 
But because love needs an opening to say ...

Every day the ripened fruit's consumed.
The vines will kill before they die.
The energy is all there is, which is why
All that lives goes inside that flow ...

But in this state, where everything seems
To move away from us, we pile on griefs 
For carbon structures, humus and dust ...

This is us, needing the loss of ourselves
To recover the world, who we are,

Like the Chinese scrolls stilled what flowed:
The bamboo groves, dance-gowned birds,
Mountain atmospheres, the words
That are drawn in the sky.

Thursday, July 22, 2021

A Memorial Bench in Huntington Beach

There's a breeze here,
And shimmering trees,
A range of colors, though the real ones can't be seen.
Sometimes the three dimensions
Pop out from the screen.

There is the known here:
The ducks that preen in estuary reeds,
The peeled pink bark of ficus trees,
The fishing poles on bicycle wheels.

And if what lies beyond
Clings to its mystery,
We know it's always there,
When we are ready ...

When the cost of staying outweighs
The fare to go:
The exquisite bungalows,
The ripening magnolias.

So little will be remembered
Of those who stayed here,
But, oh, it seems that there's too much
Grief to ever let us go.