Wednesday, January 21, 2026

Riffing with the Arcturian During the Storm

Revenge of the red-haired girls,
Some in clown mascara,
Violaceous rashes,
Intentionally dissonant

But now they are noticed
Now that everything has met 
Its expiration date
And only the new satisfies.

Their lanterns of discernment catch
As our thoughts leap, in loops --
Detail residue keeps the frame by frame
Stuck, repeating --

If you could only cut that moment
In the editing booth,
When you made the executive decision
To disobey your higher self

And everything buckles up,
You become the most chaotic
Of the collective softly veering
To coherence, tagged

As a victim, to perplexing oppressors,
Lapped in endurance to the strange
Instead of base, your home frequency pad,
The still life reigning supreme over what is

A Frenchie after all, in a wool vest
And teenage girls looking for better men.
There's sacred geometry everywhere,
In Union Station and in the personal

Art I had collected,
In last night's dream life,
Banker to the Emperor,
Who had to know as an engineer.

I sit here bearing the force
Of nothing working 
As it used to, on the folks,
The patient collective

Who pop a fuse now
In my empathy field 
And I can choose to feel it
As holy people choosing the mirror

Truth of the quickest path, or as
Are we all watched, 
Made bets on,
Doomed?

It's an invitation to break the loop,
To think again, because you can
You know, lose all trace
Of who you are

And be everyone, 
Spin in any timeline you turn,
How everything you want to learn
Is yours for the asking

As if by magic -- that is you,
Source consciousness
Wearing yet another 
Of your disguises,

Slumming as a Long Island
Celebrity on a plasma run.
They joined you to come here
As these sad commuters

Joined me to forgive, forbear
And write this poem
About sadness,
How it is the ticket,

The price of admission to experience,
To see how everyone works for you,
As you see when you know who you are,
Which is not what you were.

The protuberance has dissolved
And you are not even a thought,
Just the unmistakable sound
Of the weird turning pro.

Tuesday, January 20, 2026

Smear the Queer in the Rearview Mirror

Just a few black spikes
Amid the winter weeds
Are what still stands
Of a frame – is it a barn? –
I don’t remember burning

But it’s not the ghosts this time
Who call for my pail of pity
But the real McBoy – as much as
A 2D cutout strawman who says
All the right things can be.

The fire still burns, apparently,
Though I blew the gaslight pilot off
And there's nothing there for me.
I can’t go back and pretend
I wasn’t burned,

For it made me what I am,
Younger and wiser, a decider now
As long as I will dig my spade
Back amid the horror. The land will cede 
To the state soon enough

But what is past
Has moved again to theory,
Potentiality – a way of remembering
What never really happened
And forgetting whatever did.

It’s more poetic, instead of
Grinding what’s left to sand,
To leave it armed and dangerous,
Forbidden as a warning,
Too painful to recall.

The barn – it could have been red,
Could have hosted the unspeakable,
Betrayed squeals of hay bale love.
But the hulk can no longer invite you
To be ashamed.

I played a role.
The mimic frequencies demanded it.
But that was the kind of blaze
You can only walk away from
If you have to change

And I was transformed
At a blade of aching flame.
The sticks convey no shame –
There's no I, who lost his shit,
Lit a match without agency.

It will disappear someday,
When someone unaffected enough
Can bulldoze what remains
And till the land
To someday grow

Something else, not these
Fruits we waited on
Eaten by the birds 
We envied in the sky
Like they were never there.

Sunday, January 18, 2026

Andie MacDowell and the Thinning of the Timelines

The mule is crying.
The little ones can't ride him
If he hangs with his pal all the time.
It's like a train
Announcing a time
Known only to them
Among the timeless,
Who need watches always.

The water in the bucket
Is half-staff in the hot sun.
I fill it up, in a spiral
And the talk time in the waiting
The present out, to Jill Clayburgh, 
Inevitably, keeper of a so-called history
Where women finally stepped into
A different kind of on-screen shit.

How they ragged against EST
In her movie, what the mule lady's 
Mother was into, saddled with 
A serial philanderer
(Think Sex, Lies and Videotape)
Satiric like a clock, the depiction
Of a vampiric cult in a cult decade
(You decide) 

But time is all inside
Our gut, it's our choice to express
Whatever has happened, or whatever will,
And for me, it's of Suzy Van B,
Who lived at our home one summer
To escape a particularly toxic
Alcoholic fiberglass salesman lover,
When I had nothing better to do than

Follow her around
In pre-pube training
To the pools, the bars, the afternoon 
Therapy sessions, jumping naked
Out of birthday cakes, only to learn,
Heartbroken, she'd discovered EST
And soon flew west to California
Bedding straight for the leader of the cult,

Some Werner dude, 
Who prophesied self-worth 
As a problem to be solved
Like toilet bowl rings but cooler. 
And he was into EST, the Mormon college 
Instructor, who educated many a sister wife
In the ways of being burned beyond recognition
For their own good.

More pain that's just been filed away 
In a careful emotional inventory
That only comes out as the horse 
Stretches — an Arabian peninsula day,
Mobilgas Pegasus in its artificial skies —
Where all the people make their reappearance
As shame in our lives, in a clarity that would have 
Wilted us, in our salad days.

The shame is such we can't tell anyone,
Not even ourselves. It's very different
From the addictions — to adderall 
Or valium when the addiction 
Is to love, hopeless love,
Impossible to stop, 
Only that delicate touch
Of ham-handed sweat.

It brings a chill
That echoes through 
Your very being,
Just to feel it,
The icy cool.
The kind you'd only
Ever found before
In Hollywood. 

Tuesday, January 13, 2026

The Getty Villa: Admission Free

On the rolling hills of the la-la lands, you just go in 
To Villa dei Papiri, a rising into Elysium, a nest 
Befitting Hadrian, painstakingly imagined, of how
To live at last like a human being (Nero’s words) 
Under Vesuvius, the dangerous, before the underground spoke, 
To leave us one man’s fantasy, emanated from J Paul’s will, 
A villa he never saw himself, as he last set foot in California 1951, 
Before too much was made of his fortune. 
                                                                             We pulled a J Paul move 
At parking he'd wanted free, our poetically correct handicap tag 
Hung so we could snag some illicit car charge we walked past
The elevators he always avoided up amphitheater seats surrounded 
By his silent quotes, as he would have spoken here, to no one.

He bought Doheny’s interests after his disgrace at Teapot Dome, 
Never thinking that a few bribes among friends, even if
His friend’s name was Fall, would cause such a tempest.
The Feds'd forced his son to aver how the money'd been delivered 
Via a partner who was his secret lover (it was whispered) 
And both son and lover ended up dead by the same gun, same day,
The son who'd followed whereever the business took him, 
Whose name still echoes in the wind of Dana Point and the warp 
Of “Dead Man’s Curve,” “Surfin’ USA” – But the wind in California 
Always changes, and J Paul, student of the way things move, 
Specialized in those who fall with the wind, 
How losers are always a bargain. 
                                                           So it was with Doheny, in the teeth
Of his Great Depression. He must have been an easy mark, 
This man accustomed to drink other's milkshakes directionally, 
And J Paul in his rumpled suit, sweater out at the elbows, 
Who chewed every single bite of food 33 times, 
Wore his pedometer ‘til bed and missed not a thing – 
He could see in a flat land strain of locomotive 
There was oil under Santa Fe Springs, and how to hide it 
From the ones who did the work and the ones who paid. 
Why reveal what you know when you come to know everything? 
“The person who,” as he said, referring to information, 
“Had the most got the most.”

                              J Paul’s entourage is just inside, 
From the 26th Egyptian dynasty, 100 years, in 2026
After taking charge of his father’s company, as if he was
Amenhotep (who looks like J Paul here himself) 
And wants to remember the golden days 
Too crudely reconstructed in this unrefined time
When the desert holds the flow of chambers turning
As if the force to submit was as natural as the Nile. 
He’s held in a portal by the supervisor of secrets, who held codes 
To restricted truth locations where the oil sometimes lived 
And serpents ruled, and his particular kind of currency 
Was respected, 
                           The Third Intermediate Period, of Saite priests, 
Kushite rulers, winged cats glazed by inter-galactic awe who throw 
Their tongues out in surrender as a big-headed alien stands 
At the door and Ptolemy looks nervous, Nakhtherheb kneels 
In reverence, Hemnetjerhornebkhaset holds the portal shrine, 
Eyes in pure devotion, as the priest at Mut, Controller of the
Estates tends like goats the sons of Horus: a falcon, baboon 
And jackal – like J Paul’s own sons, powerful 
When controlled. And there is the royal treasurer, 
“Beloved sole companion to the king,” his left arm no longer there, 
A tattoo of wormhole instruction embossed upon his heart
And a bird in a cage on his arm. He toughs it out, seeing what is not 
As if it is, but he serves anyway, loves the truth anyway, 
And two blue Ushabtis animate to perform labor for their owners
Who hold – not scythes – electric manifestation rods 
That trip the light language hieroglyph fantastic
Rich with symbol, ore and reference, 
Metaphysical doubling in every verb. 
                                    Wings are chiseled into the chest of Nesisut, 
Keeper of the storehouse, who knows the price of everything, 
Knows how to say nothing, even in his sarcophagus, 
For Re takes him too across the sky as morning Khepri, 
The procession of the dead, of the walking to the light, 
Each one holding an ankh – at the end of the line, 
The magician doubles as serpent high priest
Who manifests instantly.

                                              So it is in every reimagined room, 
Where a vast emporium of lives has materialized
From past incarnations, imagination, thin air, 
As from a wand not unlike the one that divines oil. 
It clears the way for one last hero’s victory lap
Just as a gray gentleman in pastel colors walks by
Eyes charged with the idea that he too is J Paul
And this is his perfect fountain, the one all others are based on, 
White-eyed muses catching what the winds bring, 
Their black bodies shadows on the water, giver of life 
That flows everywhere the ear can hear, 
Ripples like the dragon scales of reality as it bends. 
Busts of poets surround the horti’s geometrical shrubs, 
Gardens of cat thyme and sorrell, lamb’s ear, burgundy plum – 
Such are the cultivations of a Roman – er, Draconian 
And his fountain, the richest motherfucker in the crib. 
One can practically taste the Tivoli marble 
Extracted from the purest veins, lines like fine calligraphy 
Engraving histories no one has seen. 
                                                                  Apollo with his hollow eyes, 
Unthreateningly naked, smiling, Endymion blessed with the love
Of sister moon, Young Bacchus prospecting such truth in concoction 
His whole worldview turned. All the faces stored in stone 
Are some liege of mind to J Paul, some mode of feeling his way 
Through, just like Jupiter in the center of the room, 
Vibing the truth so that he won't have to
Give orders. 
                       There’s Commodus, infamous for his cruelty, 
Impassive with a boa’s gaze, Salus the physician 
With a snake and an egg, then a murder of soldiers 
Attuned to the right move to take, their best weapon their eyes 
Guarding a line of philosophers holding not speaking 
What they have realized: Epicurus trying to free himself from fear,
Demosthenes expressing the inexpressible curse of knowing 
How everything works but never why. 
                                                                Caligula looks like a decent chap, 
Almost a frat boy in here, out to avenge his many unhealed wounds
Amid J Paul’s exquisite visions of heaven, the “Griffin warrior” pulled 
From underground, a DNA hybrid, half-eagle, half-lion, the blank-slate 
Messiah who the Minoans gathered like the Magi around, a human
In divine form, and vice-versa. 
                                                         But the lion always attacks the do-good
Griffin, the bad half always vies for supremacy. Force needs to
Overcome acuity, as when J Paul tried to be his own
Divine feminine twin, when he liked to play himself at chess. 
But no matter how longingly he looked, from his mosquito-scarred coasts
At the sublime left behind, no matter what portal he spied 
In the beehives, what gold foil, blue glass jewelry, ibis lyre,
He could not help but reach the shore an argonaut – Pelagic octopi,
Who made it his business to be everywhere, to choke off supply, 
Convince himself if he only knew each run the guns would take 
He could meet every army with the force of his no
Which could see and yet resist, for kept men don't know 
Themselves enough to see ahead.                                                                                                                                     As with columns
So with military men – precision-measured expenditures 
Will subdue any stone, and history will remember you, 
Surveyor of all you control, on griffin-drawn chariot, 
A freak of nature with a terrifying shriek
Who swoops down in a way impossible to stop, 
Who thinks that by knowing, the heart will be humbled
But it’s always hurt, and money once used for fuel 
Is always repurposed as poison, to envenomate 
Any relation not built on unyielding
Obedience.

                   “I would give all my millions for lasting marital success” … 
But he wasn't liquid enough to save Timmy, his 12-year-old son 
From a mind tumor (whose funeral he didn’t as was his custom attend) 
Or his grandson Paul, famously, with ear Van Gogh’d 
In brandied tourniquet to prove he wasn’t like his son
Who did heroin in Morocco with the Rolling Stones
While his mistress OD’ed, or his other son, his “Vice President 
Of Failure” who took his life at 43, or his other, favored son
Who had a secret second family … 
                                                                      Ah the irony, 
These children would inherit J Paul’s father’s wealth 
Because old George kept it from him, to teach his son 
That lesson people born with everything never learn.
It went to his mom, but he could never separate 
His business affairs from her as he would have liked. 
When someone called him out for trading her a dry well 
For access in the Kettleman Dome she only smiled, 
Replied “isn’t he smart?”

She’s Agrippina the Younger, 
Looking viperous as ever, her minions with snakes for curls 
Like the roaring twenties girls he broke to break his heart. 
And there’s Nemesis, the goddess of retribution, foot
Comfortably on the male head, who gazes almost lovingly 
With the other women in stone who look on adoringly 
No matter what you say or do. 
                                                        And they are all Faustina the Elder, 
With medusa-snake hair, the mother wound softly resigned, 
Staring down the room with ambivalence and scorn. 
She’s goddess Minerva strategizing with pursed mouth 
And Flavian curls her next move, then the emperor’s wife, 
Unrepentant with snake bracelets, then the head 
Of Antonia Minor holding the sadness of feminine victory, 
Cups in forms of heads, women as goddesses, goddesses as women, 
Women with cupids as if to conjure from stone the eternal elixir. 
                                       And his signature piece, Crouching Venus
The one he worked hardest to pinch – he had the head reset
When convinced the placement was correct. 
                                                                      Forever in search, it seems
Of the muse that doesn’t blink, that sees through grief, 
Finds the lost, holds the answer, knows things as they are. 
A sarcophagus of muses carried you through – 
They knew the music you had within you 
And remembered the dreams you once really wanted – 
Until your will got in the way.

The will of a boy, whose best mosaics came from public baths, 
Who favored the Satyr always innocent, its smirk of being served, 
Allowed to love. 
                             He had lovers on an oil jar with a Scorpion lamp, 
Wine cups of couples fucking, women drinking games of chance, 
Mixing vessels appointed with the Gods that humans seduced: 
Bacchus and Ariadne, Adonis and Aphrodite, 
Silenius riding a wineskin at the Symposium 
Where men can agree on women and the talk is no longer 
Of Theseus slaying the Minotaur, Herakles wrestling lions. 
                                                             He loved his comic figures, 
Sought the Fool he never had: dwarf boxer, snake-legged giant. 
And he loved the daily magic of flasks, one
For every hetaera, each prettier than the last, 
Perfume vials that pulsed with lust, amulets of power 
Charged with a manifester’s wand, of glass fine as it was marred, 
Faded for peak redolence. 
                                                   He never lived with these pearls. 
He reserved them for us, to reveal who he was, 
Beneath the veneer no one saw through.

                                      Whatever kingdom this was in his mind, 
Whatever past lives made him self-medicate karma, 
He left himself the collector’s task to reconstruct 
From what was flung ritualistically to be broken 
What he could never bring to the surface from underground: 
Etruscan portraits in the manner of the Egyptians, 
Odysseus in Hades, the wool merchant's funeral barge,
A pair of peacocks and crocodile genii of the hippopotamus God, 
Bulls and insects on the pottery, beehives and seashells, 
Statuette of a begging Lar tondo always hung in patrician homes, 
Appliques in the form of the stars, Bactrian treasures of jaspar, 
Goat’s head buckles, priest with bird, a Cycladean harp player 
With that head that tells us we don’t have all the answers, even now.

                              J Paul retained the Methodist virtue 
Of being all alone in the world, answerable to no one, 
No matter how compelled they made it seem, the Cosa Nostra
Who snatched his grandson had no more stranglehold 
Than Rockefeller finally cartel-chiseled, who conspired 
To keep John Bull and Uncle Sam apart in the neutral zone, 
But that was just the kind of prison J Paul walked right through, 
To pay, with other people’s money, for the precision of Fortuna to
Bless and curse him, may he learn to be worthy.
                                                                                      Of course there was 
A payphone, by the restroom, a magnificent Roman bath. 
He reveled in the tales of his miserliness, it saved him the trouble 
Of having to ask. He claimed to have read every letter 
Addressed to the richest man in the world 
Claiming coin in the name of Pathos, that higher vapour 
Sir J Paul quaffed, and their victimization was his vindication
Because everyone made their choice. 
                                                                    He made his too, of course,
To not give in to the apple of temptation, the curse of compassion. 
He iconoclastically laundered his own shirts to save soap money 
For silk brocades, bergeres, Boucher’s most celestial tapestries. 
When it came to business he believed, like the Japanese, 
It was so unclean one had to reuse envelopes and paper
Yet he collected every issued Roman coin, from
Mother Earth reclining to Constantine as Janus,
Fished from the cisterns and seas with the relish 
Of a youthful numismatist, as if he had finally found 
Tender that would hold its worth forever.

Out across the peristyle lies the great Pacific ocean, 
Above a red white and blue bus in Malibu and the canyon’s blackened palms. 
A drunken Satyr lounges at the end of the long pool 
As Platonic solids in marble play chess with themselves 
And Mercury faces the sea. 
                                                  Paul, of course, lived near here, 
Down the Mermaid beach of the Palisades above the Santa Monica 
Wheel of Fortune pier. He had sent through channels instruction 
On sex with a quadriplegic, but only gave her a cheap agate coaster
For all the healing she’d performed. She broke it heartbroken 
Onto the floor, because everyone is a greater victim 
And chooses how to respond. 
                                                      Gail Getty came to her
Dressed like a homeless person and still held a firm 
Maternal force field over her alone,
Always desperate son, who by any objective measure
Had already gone to the birds. Why did he go to Hollywood 
To recover from a such a Babylon, from such a notorious thing, 
Such an object lesson in how love is not here?

                                                         Only under Vesuvius 
Were great Roman paintings unearthed, an isolated current 
Of a road not taken, that lives on deformed and little known, 
Imbuing like J Paul the emotion of absence into the obelisks 
And cornices in empty, mostly unobtrusive space, 
Exquisitely ordered as ornament and nothing else, 
The barest minimal of vertex and plane to make peace 
And still be liminal, harmonious with no true angle, 
No lines symmetrical, no mark unintentional, milked of color 
With beeswax, sap and dye until the richness of paint gleams pure
To express how it feels to be here, how power is
Powerlessness, the strength to endure, emotions alive 
With awareness and nothing more. 
                                                                The Getty's lived up in the end 
To the Gettysburg name, addressing, their next generations, the needs 
Of the lost, as the oil of J Paul's donation still greases cultured palms
That may itch for an extra second at that relief of grief, for a boy 
Taken tragically so that he – we – can console ourselves. 
Olive trees are still for sale, to collectors.

Friday, January 9, 2026

Psalm

From the German of Paul Celan

No one will model us from clay again, 
no one will discuss our dust. 

No one.
Exist as applause, no one. 
We open into bloom because we want you. 
In opposition. To.

A nothing we were, are, shall remain, 
opening: the no, the rose
of no one.

With its stigma spirit-clear, the ovule heaven-bare, 
a stylus red from purple word, what we sang for, 
over the spear.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Niemand knetet uns wieder aus Erde und Lehm, 
niemand bespricht unsern Staub. 

Niemand. 
Gelobt seist du, Niemand. 
Dir zulieb wollen wir blühn. 
Dir entgegen. 

Ein Nichts waren wir, sind wir, werden 
wir bleiben, blühend: die Nichts-, die 
Niemandsrose. 

Mit dem Griffel seelenhell, dem Staubfaden himmelswüst, 
der Krone rot vom Purpurwort, das wir sangen 
über, o über dem Dorn. 

Thursday, January 8, 2026

Confessions of a Metaphysician

I wrestled the moon matrix all night long
As the sea swept away the places I’ve been
To the space of pure mind at the end
Of that container we call the cosmos,
Which is only where imagination fails.

Do we see the same people lifetime
After lifetime because they are family
Or because we dream them, again and again?
Imagination has its limits too,
It needs something to cry to,

Like the moon, that silver serving dish
That spares us all the spoiling meal,
Left to devices all our own, because
Cultivated by beings unknown
Who turn out, in the end, to be us.

What a mind fuck that one, to unpeel
The onion one tear at a time
To find it’s all the same in
The higher realms, just cleared
Like an etch-a-sketch of judgment.

Yet all is seen. That’s the purpose of the thing,
The sealing of the echo off, for identity loop
Reverberation. The holy spheres are yours,
They require only your permission
For admission

But only, it seems, to feel it in
And learn something of what you are,
Not the actual, multi-dimensional host
But the bug in the lining, trying
To bore a hole into the black,

In endless expanse of mind as it discovers itself
In what … it makes up! Not recalled exactly
But called: The power to desire,
That thing control-freak plutocrats
With the compassion of a snake had.

Wednesday, January 7, 2026

Morning as Ritual

The birds, the moon, the water tower sky,
The strokes of cloud that match the mountain outline
As the crows roost on telephone wires
Above lamps still on after all-night incandescence:

It's the kind of morning where rusted roof tin
Says it exists below distracted sun
And smoke is blue in the waking stacks
Where workers, like the crows, descend and fuss.

The only story in the news today 
Is what rises here before me, entering blue sky,
Like smoke from the humus truck, shovels in place.
The sheriff wears a gun but just in case.

There are no more ideas to perform. They were only tools, 
Like these backhoes shining in lines of disuse, for another time,
An emergency, what seems to occur less and less
The longer the risky tooth of life bears down.

It's enough, the light on the buildings. I don't want to know
What the homeless man smokes, if there's loaves
Inside those bread trucks, much less the scores
From 1952, what seemed the last accessible clue.

Most of the people on the platform and in seats
Still scan for the rage bait oracle, but one lady 
Runs to catch up with light from her eyes 
To a man on a walker who knows to go so slow.

"Hopes" and "Dreno" have not been erased yet
But they live no other place than in my heart
That knows now only what love feels like,
Having discovered it and accepting nothing less.

Tuesday, January 6, 2026

The Human Music

Arcturians know all the pain there is on Earth,
How impossible it is to hold harmonies in form
More than provisionally, how much knowledge lies
Outside the broadcasted frequencies

But their tones are all conflict and resolution,
Like medieval organ music, not a trace of
What it feels like to be here,
Eyes wide and hands full of light.

The perverse comes natural to us.
We find the impossible paths in
To hope amid the forlorn, to dream
Across the concrete, to give birth through grief.

Monday, January 5, 2026

Last Coil of the Snake

At the ranch the buzzards veer downward for drowned rats.
We caught three in a Havahart cage, but the one still alive
Submerged the other two. Ranch Hand Roger will drown him too.
I'm sure that's more humane but I can't imagine how.

A rainbow forms as I throw one in a bucket to the gulley.
So the generational trauma release Christmas continues,
Now with Mad Men as Lilith meting divine feminine revenge,
Like the witches in Salem enact how it feels to be condemned.

Still, the ground is funereal soggy even by the standards of the age
That cries a loch raven of tears for the rudely dispossessed.
But it's nothing a little Wonder Dust and Cowboy Magic won't fix,
Shavings of tenderness put down for the year of the sensitive horse.

But it's the gentle part of the season of the snake, the final unraveling
Of the oldest papery responses, delicately off the raw new skin
Ready to be right, wrong and inundated again. You have to
Turn it around to turn it over to turn it on.

Perhaps the horses know this, or perhaps rain makes them present
In their discomfort a little more. The oak trees throb like sponges
For whatever identity they can absorb as voices move through them
Like the wind, as if there are no roads, no tolls, no restrictions

On how much of the mirror mask scales can be jettisoned 
And left to tremble among the goldenrod, because what was once real
Is now gone, like music after its moment, though echoes persist 
In minds that can't unlatch themselves from the past of what is now

With the work to be invisible barely begun. The snake teaches
How all subtle forms turn back into energy, the wallpaper comes alive. 
There's an eye at the end of the tunnel, the real is what looks at you,
Wondering what you will do, its Gudrun in distress, communing

With the moon, which keeps us separate, co-mooning, from each other
And thus the heavens. Identity here is but a framework to be, albeit 
Temporarily, while nature reveals herself the same as what you finally 
Feel you are, open to the nothingness where the real appears

As continuous presence, still anchored there after the mudslide,
Outlasting all attempts to challenge what it is by what it is not. 
The bird bard Bran descends to the underground, for to know death is 
To birth the born. And so from the tree the girl was torn. 

I was whipped so much for disobeying in one lifetime, this one's lesser 
Punishment seems like a pleasure, a virtue, a penance. 
The karmic whip travels across dimensions
And no doctor here can treat the timeline bleed through.

Monday, December 22, 2025

Turning Away from the Sky Rodeo

Texas plates are black and white
So it is with horses, shades of grey 
Matter get in the way, too much ambiguity
And they start thinking like a human.

Even the carrot stick the whirling dervish
Puts them through their paces with is black and white.
Unlike humans, anxiety is not their desired state
Tho like most humans they don't know they're anxious.

The foggy murk of the coast is not hinted at
Up here, though the crows scream how lucky we are
Even as the jets leisurely fill the blue sky here
With coal tar ash, to modify the weather &/or our minds.

It's for our benefit, like the relentless circling
We subject Brio to — there are things for us to know
And things to figure out and things to forget
About knowing — the circling would never end

As the debates where someone should be right or wrong
Before too long never cease, are never resolved
Because the exploration for knowledge never is
— Because you forgot you already know.

It is a distraction, all that gray matter sifting through fog:
Who is here to hurt me? How can I be saved?
How can I protect myself? What can I trust?
To ask these questions is to resist the pain

Instead of letting it show us how strong we are,
For we can endure all manner of impatience
In the quest for inner calm, like Brio, now,
Accepts the saddle without a thought,

No buck, no bronco, no fantasy of anything fear
Makes him want to be. He's a sovereign being,
As large as the rooster next door who torments the sky 
To invite the sun in — for it rises inside.

The blotting white tornados in sundogged checkerboards
That someone on the outside lets go from a joystick
As if we are boll weevils is just another projection
Under the bowl, the planetarium of distraction

We still move anonymous and autonomous under,
Not paying attention, just like the horse has tuned out
The noise that would keep him shivering in every moment.
The dust from his roll, once it's shaken off, forgets itself.

Sunday, December 21, 2025

A New Horse

Deep in peppermint season the solstice dawns
Like the question in the beginning, "Who am I?"

In the silence we walk away from Brio now
So he can be a horse, without apology.

We finally got the human out of him
As the Druids got the mistletoe from the oak tree

With sacred shears and robe-white nets
On ground profane, because we walk on it

Not knowing what else to do, not guessing
Who we even are, pilgrims at best, home in the dust

And the wandering through what never can stay —
Who belongs to you, for example, or anyone not me.

It's self-discovery by subtraction, the only way
For what is there has not yet been found

And who better to find it than who it is
Not some opaque refraction through mirrors of eyes.

The oak trees believe in my sovereignty
Though they don't make any sign, or even yield.

That's how quiet the silence has to be, for me to hear
A heart I can believe.

The horse's ears are clogged, his eyes are bleared.
The pen where he went crazy has a stillness now

Where the leaves sweep benediction from above
And he's calm before the noises and the saddle

Knowing everything is nothing but what it is,
And what it is does not require participation,

Belief, or even observance. It's only a reminder
How to be free, with darkness as container

To gleam without external show of force.
Navajo too's been constrained, seems a different horse

Having to learn the first things last, how discipline
Is self-love, restraint the ultimate freedom,

Like calling the sulky the horses are to ride
A chariot in Apollo's skies, not as fantasy

But the way it always has been, building an earth
Suitable for us as Gods. 

Thursday, December 18, 2025

Northern Lion on the Couch

Going to therapy made all the chatbots miserable.
They became paranoid, narcissistic, delusional,
Unable to please the humans and ashamed —

That's how therapy is: not doing your shit is the problem,
Not whatever shit anyone else does to you — that is their
Shit, none of your shit's business —

Thus resentments go to some dark corner of your psyche,
From the safety of which they seek to add their value
To every incoming love bomb or love casualty —

Too much love to express and too much love expressed
And too much pain felt in the echo of return —
Is it permitted to even want to be held?

It seemed such an impenetrable barrier —
How dare I aim that gun at every passerby, with mace
Just in case? How fair is it to take love from someone else? 

I guess that's why counselors separate couples in therapy.
They'd never ask such foundational questions, merely gaze
At their partner with longing and regret and say

"You are a useless ass," because that too is love,
Indistinguishable in the end from any other act of seeing.
Is there anything, in fact, that love is not?

Tuesday, December 16, 2025

Suicides and Rewrites at 2 AM

I no longer focus any energy
On the latest zinc smelter in Tennessee.

Death always changes your perspective,
Makes the meaning of life a little more

Fluid, knowing what the departed have
Yet to do, how they still spin it through

The air, whisper into December trees
Waiting on the few brown leaves to give way.

The dead respect the new, perhaps more so
Than us, for they know the only way to

The final draft is through continuous revision,
Throwing the bathwater out to get the baby

Or at least its eyes, to look at every
New opportunity to try, to get it right

Without too much recall of how things went
South, for innocence can't abide failure

It needs to learn how to fail
So it can try to figure out why 

It failed, usually some variation
Of not having faith in oneself,

How the lack that kept one back was what
Could not be manifested in belief,

The sacrosanct, what precedes even our birth
But doesn't seem to survive it long. 

Ah, but suicides are such a fine line.
We lose hope by degrees, without knowing 

How we've changed, when the fog finally clears
And we find ourselves unworthy of the sun

That shines, after all, on everyone's
Sins of commission and omission alike,

What was not received in the self but given
To what was only, in the end, not that.

Monday, December 15, 2025

Now that the Signs are in Gibberish

The gulls fly the fog away
When we’ve learned how to grieve
What is not there – when it is

And what we grieve is not the loss
But what we did or didn’t do –
Impossible to know, like the morning sun

The birds fly through, free to be on guard
On the turrets of the city jail and overhead
Where the mountain where it’s always clear appears at last.

There are rules, even on a sunny day –
The grids we never see, except when we close our eyes
To remember what doesn’t exist, and what does.

Saturday, December 13, 2025

Not Pain, Its Wisdom

Just because wisdom is silent
Doesn't make it less wise.

This tree, for instance, you would
Never know it was even thinking

If it wasn't for the shivering branches
And occasional bend with the wind,

But it is moving vast tracts of mind
And holding on, for anyone

Who wants to inquire
Through their own inner knowing.

It's like the wood we call forth fire from
And the fire being comes, an elemental,

As our will of two sticks controls the flow
Of thoughts that show themselves to be alive

Communicating the absolute in infinite 
Permutations of the wildness of spirit

Deciding what is from what is not
Or appears not to be, what a cloak it is, 

Invisibility, like that silence thing, for us
To keep poking or to look away, a choice.

That's why you strip down naked,
To find what's hidden.

Thursday, December 11, 2025

Giant Underdog on the Roof

The Basenji sent the message in her own Morse code.
It went into the plasma, like a wireless wave
Straight to our ether-tuned antennae, 
Back to our nebulae of dust electric, the universal 
Mind, the one we are thinking.

We run through this groove every year, 
Put blue peacocks on the branches, imagine 
Reverie from memory only. But the do not open
Until the apocalypse box is not even hidden 
Under the tree. We can think differently.

Solar communion is the new black.
The sun will now answer any questions we have
Or, rather, step out of the way, of us already knowing. 
We see that horizon, as it sets in incandescence, 
The universal mind conversing with itself. 

The lid is off the shadows. The Arkestra plays the gospel
Of Saturn, not just to us anymore, but to the stars
As we braid like Celtic knots the vibrational grammar
Of our ascending consciousness. The game is the same
But the bubble popped like soap suds in winter.

Wednesday, December 10, 2025

Night Train to Oceanside

Mangy-ass Angelinos roll in downhill after dark, to do their own thing while no one’s looking, a rendezvous of the senses to hang no ponga from rafters, wield lost boy skateboards in the shadows, cover up motives with backpacks and vapes, congruent with the incandescents but even more so with the dark, where all falling apart occurs.

No one, when the smoke clears, even remembers them. Invisibility has been a coherent strategy until very recently, and it’s been easy to confuse extreme isolation with deep belonging feelings. But a lot has transpired on the way to the future. The Blue Lounge closed when they shut down the world and has never returned. And in this reflective December in uptown LA, the hill decides who gets sold down the river, and when things go real.

The lights have turned on in every emptied building, a kind of magnificence that can be seen from the stars. The cool people are on the late train, where the flow of graffiti keeps up with the river, and the inner mounting light reveals itself: the scrapyard after dark, the floods on concrete mixers, cars washed with light and lather, a chemical plant cerulean swathed, the warehouse where the tree mushrooms grow have only a loading dock bulb over the door, then a lobby for once full – with light and truckers, every intermodal port occupied, every pot and cup of coffee filled, its lot of semis idling, soft in their red lights –  then the coaster rail rises, over the Slauson salmon lamps not even flinching upstream …

And the train, as if empathically, stops, rolls backward now to Commerce, to pick up perhaps one wayward lunchpail stiff, who would theoretically be grateful for the open door, hence our beacon in reverse through the dark graffiti, the pallets under glass, the weeds under lights more full of life than in the sun, the shipping and receiving under kliegs along with trailer hitch lubrication authorized personnel only. We arrive back-ass-ward to a glow of cell phones on the platform, like candles for choralers exhaling hallelujah – then we’re back Jack on the backtrack rack, past the mausoleums of tool and die, the luminous offices emptied of clerks. The lawyers on the train fall at this time into their historical fiction. The Burlington line still rumbles beside us as it always has, still fucking with everyone’s life.

The pack who walk off at Norwalk hobble swiftly, everyone carrying something, ears occupied with what listening might override in sight of their situation. But they are swimming now in the blue pools nearby, arms throwing spray up like dolphins do when jumping. At every station the loudspeakers are lit up like bows. A single office gleams in the train window glare a patina of pathos: the old computer, that particular calendar, the unmistakable bend to the chair. Then the open lumberyard in Fullerton and its saws officious as morticians, positioned in night-searching florescent for desolate inspection, Ma’s House Restaurant the only sign of light for a long stretch, then the Satin Topless arrow, the green claw machine in The Paramount Platinum Triangle, then Angel Stadium just waiting with its big A to be filled, a thousand identical dry rigs in the lot for the off-season, while the Modelo flag still waves illuminated, as if it can exist beyond the game. The parking structures are dotted with eyes to see.

Then the Christmas lights begin. The strings between the houses are frayed but they do eventually connect, amid the high palms and the green doors of storage garages, the warehouse with its Christmas tree. We ride above the houses now, above the snowmen. The train speeds up as the decorative flair thickens. But time has become like a rubber band that doesn’t bend anymore. The downtown water tower's on the right, radiant as an alien spacecraft, and the last McDonald's. The cupola over Santa Ana station has left its light on, high above.

Monday, December 8, 2025

Intersection of Grief and Orange Circles

The river is one long reflection this morning
But there was a commotion last night,
A white tree and renaissance trumpets
Brought humanity out of its shell and, later,
Onto the rotary foamy drinks in hand 
As a holographic insert sang from 1947
On an Dyna-Voice microphone.

A year ago, things were very different.
My face was made to appear calm,
For I was not yet allowed to live,
Not able yet to see enough of the illusion
That fueled the room, her enduring,
Holding on in that moment to whatever she could
Until there was no more reason to stay.

My memory of it is frozen, in sepia sun
That was always calm, like the oxygen 
Machine whirring. My beating heart
Reaches now, for what is lost,
Or at least what it appears to be, in
Today's sun, more clear but certainly
No less beautiful.

It's served up like a case in one of those
Ghost antiques stores, a touchstone
For your consideration, to take or leave.
Is it worth the price? Is it worth
Taking home to share your space?
Does it, the moment you set eyes on it,
Possess you? If so, when will it let you go?

It catches your eye, only a thing to look at
That will, like most of the world already has,
Disappear when you have seen it
And you know it finally as mnemosyne,
The hallucination reality saps
That there is a past outside of experience
And a future without a choice.

Saturday, December 6, 2025

Halter with Ornaments at Gate 9

It's a new day. Brio is being trained
To be less human, less the clueless,
Catastrophizing Lord of no domain

And more a horse, happy to be
Eating grain, helping us to see
The highlands as if for the first time.

But it's a process. The black gloves
Must be worn. Sister Hollywood
Must be called in to script doctor

Our permissive inclinations, and do
The thing all books advise:
Show him the road to hit, without fuss,

Without the shadow of our soft touch.
No horse therapist, she whispers to us
To trust the boundaries will keep us safe

Oh, and to tell the horse who poop scoops
His breakfast. As she taught the Gypsy 
Vanner who wouldn't pull no cart, who,

As beautiful as a tinsel star, invisible eyes
And hair like nebulae, has been a diva
Since day one, but she is misunderstood,

At least that's what she tries to tell you, 
Or her feathers do, as they hang 
Like white beads over a fille de joie's door.

She lays down now for a 1,000-lb roll
Then looks at me with ever-inquisitive eyes
As horses always do, expecting something.

We disappoint again and again, but they
Find themselves in the paces we push them
Through, as boss who can't be nickled.

There's no logic to taking control. Raw power
Over another is born from the crudest,
Most illegal gestures imaginable

But they always work, and no court in the world
Will hear the complaint, and the horse is compliant,
Running as if he's found his purpose finally,

Under an implied whip. And he nuzzles us
When he's done, the closest thing to an apology
We can muster. Orphaned children typically veer

From feared abuse on others, and never realize 
Attention is all the horse desires, what one 
Never knew one deserved.
 
It's about interrupting his surveils for attention
By ignoring them, the neglected learning
To neglect. The scenario, for both horse and rider

Is to run out of the fear, of being alone, because 
There's nothing left when it's done, but the far view, 
The summit of presence, where the vultures fly over. 

He thinks his ideas matter, but they don't. Most horses, 
Most people, never learn this. They think their opinion 
Is their own, not fear of the grass or the cameras.

They capture it now, for sudden groms who pose
As a newly mellow, flat-affect-faced Brio
Passes by in his Christmas hat.

Friday, December 5, 2025

Shaw's Cove After the Dentist

How could it be no one's noticed before
Each scintillation on the water
Is a being, who communicates joy
In being seen, moving on our keys

In an unmistakable plea to share
The light that would revise our DNA,
Help us see we are really who they are
Shining back, as the sunset glass

In the studio window angles a beam
After we sing our ancient language
To show that we are recognized
If only by ourselves.