Tuesday, November 1, 2022

The Apartment in Carmel

The apartment in Carmel,
     I remembered it

I even remembered the names
     of her parents
Who were still there
    and still, however vaguely 
Remembered me
    when I tracked them down
Through identical floorplans,
    unmemorable numbers.

It was the location
    I recalled
Across from what is
    no more.

They let me look in
    on her museum,
All the broken pieces
    of youthful expression
The perfect coda
    to their disappointment,
The unredeemable pain 
    fathers feel.

I missed the flight
    from Indianapolis
To be silent in the kitchen
    with its ticking clock.

There was no need to assist her
    or apologize
When she inexplicably appeared
    and we hugged
In the death grip of nothing
    between us anymore --
There never was a chance
    to even save her

And the fact all this was never real