The fog along the ground, the shapes of trees,
The breaking of white into violet,
Diffusions of sunrise in particulate skies,
White smoke blows across the road, lights are vapor,
Then the familiar soon enough burns through
As something invisible, a clear blur,
The strange always billowing away, as day
Holds an arbor of light for unexpected
Frissons, the sense that one remembers what
One has learned. It's relentless in turning
What would rest in flesh and yearning for peace
Into a light machine, to drop God-like
Dollops on the boulevard of what it
Touches. Still, the cat who always crosses
At 7:12 each morning isn't there
-- Even that becomes an invitation
To gaze into the darkness once again
Of being orphaned by this caring world
For no reason other than I needed it
To be that way -- but did I bless this gift?
No, I cursed a fate that slowly replaced me
As I disappeared gifting my power
Away. The person I was denied
Became so much larger in absence than
The person I was. The lost in the fog.
Oh that I could have seen it as light,
The disengagement and the betrayal,
How it was not what they told me was true,
That it was joyous to be freed -- not moping
For the bars to be securely locked again,
That the world that would lift into vision
Would be mine, not somebody else's, not to
Be kept in trust through silent instructions.
There are no rules, the sky doesn't have to
Be blue, the truth of it doesn't have to be told
-- How limiting that would be to what it is!
But with the sun comes shadows, and with them
Places to hide, existence is other
Always, no matter how home-sent the light.
And not to own -- anything -- is the gift
Greatest of all, for it lets us forget
That all of it -- the pyramids, the hierarchy,
The hierophants from serpent stars that make
Us dependent on the divine -- it's all
For us -- the lies that we will into truth,
The shape of the world inside of our minds,
To make it hard to escape from, to make
It comforting, almost neccessary,
How heaven may not compete with that, though
It is never enough, here, no matter
How long we stay, the words of somewhere else
Always call, to be rescued, not mere escape.
