He’s gone now, on the long, long road to Elko
Where snow comes in a flash, and the sky turns
Blue to black in an instant, to make way
For my best life, to be silent.
Who knows what car he’s driving in, and if
There’s a Starbucks station in this dark
Buck moon. All details of the contract we
Signed in blood are still under seal
As all souvenirs have been packed up tight.
He might have friends in Winnemucca but
He has none here, and never really did –
The bid was always rigged for me
To endure with a grin, so I don’t have to
Anymore. The “no” to all that I am
Is between Lovelock and Battle Mountain
Now, yet yes, still, comes too slowly;
The permission slip he never gave me
Has not been passed along – I must forage
Like a goat for what is lasting in my dreams:
Space to breathe, a sense of purpose …
In time I will remember I’ve never
Really changed. The embrace was on a card
And I followed the rules impeccably
And was, like each hard time, released
No longer questioning the right to dance
Or the right to be myself with someone else
Or the freak flag full moon move I once more wave
To bring the old funk to the floor.
There’s vast ores of silver, oil, lithium
Inside of those fat mountain fingers but
The only ones who know are on that road,
The one they say goes nowhere
Though all Chevrolets must get out of Dodge
Or Sparks or Truckee – inevitably.
And Vegas is never too far away,
Whose lights were never what they seemed,
But the darkness that now surrounds the plains
Has never felt this comforting before.
I see the pain was always only mine
When the road has hitched a new ride.
Its disappointment with destiny needs no tent,
No food, no Molly, tho it may be burning,
That bush, unquenched, forever bright, unseen.
The quest won't end, for forgiveness.
