Two Songs

I.
After The Killing of a Chinese Bookie

I never lose, I never win.
I never learned how to give in
Though the voice it cried.
I would take a bullet just for you
As long as you never knew
What’s inside
My always playing movie.
Laugh with me
Say you need me,
Say you need me.
It’s all because of you.
I can’t think about myself.

I learned to never show my pain,
That’s the way to win,
But never learned how not to feel
Beneath the skin.
When I took that bullet just for you
Into the street you threw me,
But first you tried
To ask me why I couldn’t cry.
I couldn’t say
How I got that way.
Let me help.
Say you need me,
Say you need me.

II.

The rose battlefield
Was still stained with white and gold,
Not a soul
Goes down the rows except alone.

The words we said still cling to glasses
Put back on the shelves,
And photographs turned back to the walls
Still talk through
Who would take the fall
From the carousel.

We never knew
How to play the lover cruel
Or who was the fool
Feigning cool?