I only live for others
When I'm by myself.
When the waltz light comes through
The most despairing yellow sun
The most despairing yellow sun
Across the Virginia Avenue bungalows
In late lilac afternoon,
Clothes stacked outside,
Chickens eating crabgrass,
My joy seems then so miserable,
As I think of all I'm missing in their smiles
With the gun not pointed to my head
By the strangest hand of all: my own.
For once the horror seems resplendent,
Mendelsohn conducting Santa Ana you bitch to move along.
Tomorrow we go to Santa Anita
To see the dawn before it fades,
Watch horses fresh as dew
With friends made new in hats
And ancient bleachers, holding racing
Sheets, stale donuts and coffee.
We have waited far too long
For cheap amusement,
Spraying with bullets the possums and raccoons
As if that makes them go away.
