Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Commonly Asked Questions

Why does chocolate kill dogs?
Why does light make you sneeze?
Why does God allow suffering?
Why does Quebec want to secede?
Why does Broly hate Goku?
Why does hair turn gray?
Why does scratching feel good?
Why does it hurt when I pee?
Why does the internet love cats?
Why does love have to be so sad?
Why does fiber make you fart?
Why does warm air rise?
Why does a broom stay upright?
Why does career advice suck?
Why does everybody love Brian Scalabrine?
Why does my phone say 4g?
Why does the Catholic Church believe in Purgatory?
Why does Scotch smell like Band-Aids?
Why does airline food taste bad?
Why does squid taste like bicycle tires?
Why does asparagus make my pee smell funny?
Why does garlic turn blue?
Why does poop turn green?
Why does salt melt slugs?
Why does Queen Latifah wear a key?
Why does the kkk burn crosses?
Why does Netflix suck?
Why does duct tape kill warts?
Why does it always rain on me?
Why does your life suck?
Why does Victoria Beckham never smile?
Why does your nose get stuffy one nostril at a time?
Why does DHS need 450 million hollow point rounds?
Why does oversleeping make you tired?
Why does my singing sound so great in the shower?
Why does Bolivia have two capitals?
Why does Gatsby reach out to the water?
Why does music give me goose bumps?
Why does rigor mortis occur?
Why does everything suck?
Why does art have to be mainstream to be significant?
Why does Johnny Depp have an accent?
Why does a black light make scorpions and cat urine glow?
Why does daydreaming get such a bad rap?
Why does watering a plant too much kill it?
Why does the moon during a lunar eclipse look red?
Why does the US spend more on health care than any other country on
the planet?
Why does alcohol make you drunk?
Why does helium change your voice?
Why does James Hardin have a beard?
Why does Joss Whedon always kill the characters we love?
Why does grapefruit mess with your medicine?
Why does lb stand for pound?
Why does the pool turn blond hair green?
Why does Zeus give Persephone to Hades?
Why does my water smell like rotten eggs?
Why does weed make your eyes red?
Why does religion still exist?
Why does Twitter hate me?
Why does time fly by as you get older?
Why does fog after sunrise disappear?
Why does Beyonce’s baby need a TM after her name?
Why does your nose run when you cry?
Why does Kenny always die?
Why does your period stop in water?
Why does it matter if you plagiarize?
Why does everyone hate Nickelback?
Why does everyone hate me?
Why does life suck?
Why does love hurt?
Why does Lincoln face right on the penny?
Why does ice float?
Why does Sirius twinkle?
Why does Monsanto sue farmers who save seeds?
Why do people say Jesus H. Christ?
Why does my cat lick me?
Why does guacamole turn brown?
Why does God hate me?
Why do some people taste words?
Why does Swiss cheese have holes?
Why does dehydration cause headaches?
Why does UPS take so long?
Why does getting married make you fat?
Why does Kevin Durant have a backpack?
Why does blood taste like metal?
Why does the cinnamon challenge hurt?
Why does salt cause high blood pressure?
Why is xo hugs and kisses?
Why does chopping an onion make you cry?
Why does my eye twitch?
Why does pepper make you sneeze?
Why does my stomach growl?
Why does Voldemort have no nose?
Why does my life suck?
Why does work start at 9?
Why does the caged bird sing?
Why does the sun shine?
Why does steam come out of my vagina?
Why does using Facebook feel so good?
Why does life exist?
Why do cats purr?
Why does the letter J keep appearing in my email messages?
Why does Anthony Davis have a unibrow?
Why does my baby hiccough so much?
Why does the mainstream media totally ignore the Bilderberger Group?
Why does poop float?
Why does rain smell?
Why does my belly button smell?
Why do people yawn?
Why does sex ruin a friendship?
Why does Saturn have rings?