In Summer darkness funeral black commuters pretend that I'm OK
have lost their souls like car keys pretend that they're my friend
squint at lights they cannot see everyone pretends that I’m fine
lights they don’t believe are really there when they’re worried
but follow anyway deeply worried for they think I’m defective
and there’s one man of course one man talking they laugh at me
who says those things they resent me they hate the fact I exist
those ignorant horrible things they would kill me and that’s OK
such poisonous thoughts it may be too late I’ve waited too long
he must be stopped from speaking to get myself fixed I have no
he shouldn't be allowed to read the newspaper I have no voice
I know his type leave me the fuck alone I don’t want to have to
look at all of them listening in say no no no and feel ashamed
I know their type I want to kill you in my mind let me be invisible
they like Chinese food but they don’t like to sweat leave me
they don’t do home improvement but do paper bag tests don’t
they fetishize the margins as they prostitute to power leave me
the type who wants to force the metric system on us alone
or to worship the fairytale free market I need a slap to feel alive
or think the HAARP waves won’t affect their guns leave me alone
look at the woman scoffing and blaming, scoffing and blaming to die
every day another opportunity to scoff and blame I won’t take much
why can’t we get along we all are one why can’t you just chill? space
why can’t that boy why do they waste time on someone who can’t
who looks like I did at that age offer a return on their investment?
cut his hair and wipe that sophomore grin? how can they be so kind
can’t he keep his head away from that girl? to someone who is dying?
will this train EVER leave it’s the 3rd day this week? I’m terrified
I can’t afford to be late maybe they will find out I’m a fraud? take
I must get to work now how much was I born owing? take take
to pony up another idea how exactly do I pay them back? take
that maybe just might work this time I can’t live inside the woods
Jesus Christ what’s taking this train so long? something evil in me
what’s that kid selling? is his grifting people’s money? maybe he will say
in passing while popping gum the things I’m afraid to say to myself
so disgusting his dumb luck his undeserved abundance I’m a waste
I’m not going to town for fun I don’t want to ever leave my house
I’m not doing this for my health to make me penniless that much faster
it’s not like I get what I want EVER my almost nothing is too much
does anyone here have a clue? no one ever has to see me breathing
does this line end? am I here all alone? I don’t deserve abundance
is there a punchline to this joke? I want to burrow like a worm in dirt
